Providing for aging mother who scorns prepping
 

I posted this elsewhere and haven't gotten any real replies yet, so I thought I'd run this by you guys. I need advice...


My mother is 67, living beyond her means and she has continually turned a deaf ear to me when I've tried to tell her that she needs to drastically cut back on her expenses, start stocking up on very necessary items such as food, water, medicine, etc., and putting off buying "toys" until she has her necessities taken care of.

She came over to my house a couple days ago and very curiously asked about two food dehydrators I had running in my kitchen. I lifted the lid and showed her several pounds of spinach in one dehydrator and several pounds of diced chicken in the other, then proceeded to open my pantry to show her my long-term food storage that I've been putting together over the past year. I had a brief conversation with her months ago that went absolutely nowhere--she was looking at me like I'd just come from Mars when I started showing her newspaper headlines about the economy, our ballooning national debt and what will happen when people stop loaning money to the U.S., then told her that that's exactly why she needed to start buying items now while they're still relatively cheap and before there's a run on stores.

So here she was in my kitchen several months later looking at shelf after shelf of mason jars full of dehydrated vegetables, a few dozen 5-gallon buckets of rice and beans, 100 gallons of bottled water and other life necessities that anyone who's thinking ahead should have or start acquiring pronto. The look on my mother's face was nothing short of astonishment, and I don't mean that in a good way. I've always been the financial black sheep of the family because I live within my means, don't have a lot of "toys" and wear clothes until they wear out, in-style or not--I don't have cool things that other people can come over and use or play on or watch, but I have almost no debt and I sleep well at night.

So my mother is standing there with this look on her face that a parent gives their child when they think that all of their parenting has gone down the drain, and I'm stammering for words trying first of all to figure out what she's thinking because she wasn't saying much at all, and then I started to point out that it was flat-out stupid (my exact words) not to be ready for the worst in times like these. I could tell that she was clearly having trouble absorbing what she was looking at in my kitchen because it probably seemed so foreign to her that I'd have a year's worth of food but no "stuff"--what kind of a lunatic has her oldest son become?? Yet both of my brothers, who are 31 and 29, have exactly the same mindset I do on preparing for the worst--we'd be stupid to spend all of our money on expensive toys and image-boosting stuff yet have only a few days worth of food in the kitchen (which is usually all the food my mother has on hand despite the piles of new clothes, magazines, computer games, etc., that she keeps on buying).

My first obligation as a Christian is to respect my mother and to provide for her as she becomes unable to take care of or provide for herself. But my biggest fear is the damage that she could do to me and my brothers and a couple other prepping-oriented family members if she starts telling people about her oldest son's strange behavior in "hoarding" food and other items. I can see the potential for huge personal security concerns if things get bad enough and I'm the only guy on the block with food and my mother or other family members who just don't "get it" have told people about all the food and other items that I have. I will do everything I can to make sure my mother has food and is cared for (I live just a few miles from my mother--my brothers are both several states away), but I want to do anything and everything I can to get my mother to realize that what I'm doing is what she needs to be doing ASAP, and that just as it would be absolutely foolish for anyone to tell strangers where they're hiding their precious metals, it's likewise foolish and dangerous for anyone besides a few trusted family members to know that I have a lot of food and other necessary items--but ironically, the only other family members who know what I'm doing and what I have are also pretty ardent preppers, so we're on the same page. But the situation with my mom could create some huge problems unless I nip things in the bud right away. She might not understand yet what I'm doing, but she'll make things so much worse for me, and by extension, herself, if she goes telling people about my prepping and stocking up on food and everything else. My mother does have a tendency to start telling other people when people, especially certain family members, start doing unusual things, so what concerns me is her history of talking if she starts telling other people about my food and preps as well.

Any advice you guys could give would be greatly appreciated.

Re: Providing for aging mother who scorns prepping
 

Don't try converting your mother. Make her happy as best you can.

Re: Providing for aging mother who scorns prepping
 

If your mother talks too much, that's unfortunate. Continue with your program. Deal with her loose talk when it happens. Don't borrow trouble -- there's plenty enough to go around already.

Re: Providing for aging mother who scorns prepping
 

merlin; I may not see eye to eye with you on many things.
But
There are lots of times when I think to myself when reading some of your posts...

That merlin is a wise old dude

good post

but this is not to say that we should not be prepared

Re: Providing for aging mother who scorns prepping
 

"Respect your parents" doesn't mean you follow them over the cliff.

Let her go on her merry way.


When she's flat broke, you can give her a bed to sleep on, feed her, but I'd avoid giving her anything like money to keep her living the lifestyle she's accustomed to.

There's nothing in the bible about being stupid with respect.

Re: Providing for aging mother who scorns prepping
 

Nickelless,

I agree with Merlin's comment as well.

I would also doubt your mother is talking about it as much as you imagine. If anything she is probably describing you to others as generally insane, rather than reading them an inventory of how many cans of beans you have.

Sad as it is, you are not going to get through to her. Many of us on this board have had identical experiences with friends and relatives. Feel grateful that your brothers are in accord with you. You can all plan together to put aside extra preps for your mother, but talking to her directly about it is clearly a waste of time.

I have been through all this with my best friend, who I had previously thought to be sensible. I had hoped we would be able to prep and make contingency plans together. Far from that happening, she no longer speaks to me. I also think there is more to it, with my friend. I do suspect that on some level she believes me, but the issues are too terrifying for her to examine. This might also be the case with your mother.

I see we have a perfect new 'smilie' for this thread:

:headsand:


Maxine

Re: Providing for aging mother who scorns prepping
 

Probably has to do with the fact he IS a wise old dude.........

Re: Providing for aging mother who scorns prepping
 

nickelless, I sympathize with you. I'm dealing with my own mother (in her 80s) who was much the same way as your own for quite a while. The difference between your mom and mine is that yours was born right AFTER the end of the depression, and she's probably too young to remember the rationing of WWII. The greatest financial crisis she's probably had to face was the oil/gas crisis of the 1970s and the savings & loan crisis of the 80s (but only if HER money was in a savings & loan.) Try approaching her from the standpoint of a severe gas shortage -- trucks & trains not running, grocery store shelves empty, etc. etc. and what THAT would do to our economy. At least it's something she can relate to. Try giving her some easy-to-read books that cover the idea of a financial collapse -- nothing too technical or deep. I initially got started on prepping back in the late 70s after reading a book written by Howard Ruff. Ruff was 30+ years too early, and some of his ideas are (in my opinion) absurd, but at least his books (followed by other books by like-minded authors) bumped me out of total complacency. Of course, I had young children at the time, and there's nothing quite like the spectre of starving babies to make a mommy move her butt.

As far as the safety of YOUR preps go, do impress upon ther that you have TRUSTED her with your confidences and that you expect her to honor that. Flat tell her plainly that you are frightened that she could jeopardize your safety and preparations by sharing YOUR business with someone else. Then, leave 80% of your preps where they are, but find another place to store the additional preps you acquire. On the first of every month from then on out, move another 10% of your preps to a new hiding place. Seeing your stockpiles go down will likely lessen the chance of her feeling the need to tell others about it.

Best of luck to you.

Re: Providing for aging mother who scorns prepping
 

A long time ago I read an article that stated in regards to preps and impending financial disaster you cannot convince somebody who does not see that something is wrong.

If someone has a hint or maybe doesn't know the details you can help lead them farther along the path but sheeple who have no idea, are not going to be swayed by your "crazy talk".

Sheeple who are 100% in the dark with their head in the sand will not follow or listen.

IMHO, you have made a mistake displaying all of your stuff for mom to see.

Re: Providing for aging mother who scorns prepping
 

Old is a relative thing, Now!!!:biggrin:

A lot can depend where the mind is.!!!!


:15_1_70v:

:biggrin:

Re: Providing for aging mother who scorns prepping
 

Time to start telling people that her mind is slipping.

Re: Providing for aging mother who scorns prepping
 

This is exactly why my mother and father have NO IDEA about my preps. I ha ve to agree with other posters that you made a grave error in telling your mom about your preps. You should probably kill her, but if that isn't an option, at least try to sit down and convince her never to speak of them again.

If I told either one of my parents I owned a gun, they would tell the neighbors...
and then they would call the police. Or my parents might just call the police on me themselves.

Same with food... if I told them I had food, they would tell the neighbors.. and then the neighbors would
call the police... you get the idea.

Sometimes you have to make big sacrifices in the name of self preservation...

I cannot risk the lives of my family and my children by telling people that I have preps.


I fully expect my parents to starve to death / be slaughtered soon after TSHTF. If they could make it to where
I live, I'd probably help them out, but they live in a big city and I live very far away out in the country.
I highly doubt they will make it here. I don't trust my parents enough to tell them where I live. It's
nothing personal, just business. I don't want them giving away my address to tons of people...
I have tried to bring the issues up many many times but they have no interest at all in current events, economics
history-- or basically any type of learning. They believe they know everything there is to know already. They watch
probably 30-40 hours of Tel Avision each week... they are beyond help.
They will be fully invested in government bonds and the stock market until the day they die. They have no interest at all in owning real assets. The
safest place for your money is in a bank. Some people are just too far gone / too far brainwashed.

It's very hard to deal with people from older generations who are accumostomed to ridiculously high standards of living.

If you have 30 healthy pigs and one very very sick pig sometimes it's better to just kill off or isolate the very
sick pig so that the disease doesn't spread to your 30 other pigs.

Re: Providing for aging mother who scorns prepping
 

Re: Providing for aging mother who scorns prepping
 

icq182 said: That works. Don't tell your parents where you live and it's pretty much guaranteed they won't make it to your place in a SHTF situation.

Re: Providing for aging mother who scorns prepping
 

that is some cold blooded shit there.

Re: Providing for aging mother who scorns prepping
 

Shirley,

You are one wise dude.

Er, I mean "dudette."

:36_3_12:

Re: Providing for aging mother who scorns prepping
 

Quoted for truth

Reminds me of the Post Oil Man.

Re: Providing for aging mother who scorns prepping
 

I agree 100%, it IS some cold blooded shit. They have caused me great pain in the past by revealing information that I foolishly assumed they would keep secret. Trust me, I wish more than anything I could trust them enough to tell them where I live. They have one of my PO box addresses, cell phone numbers, emails- it's not like i'm impossible to reach. But if things get bad, communication systems / electricity may be one of the first things to go.

If you knew for certain your parents would call the police if they saw a gun in your possession, would you invite them over to your place???